O. Nash 

A Tribute to the Poet, Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

"... my field -- the minor idiocies of humanity"  

Grandpa is Ashamed 

A child need not be very clever 
To learn that "Later, dear" means "Never." 

Come on in, the Senility is Fine 

People live forever in Jacksonville and St. Petersburg and Tampa, 
But you don't have to live forever to become a grampa. 
The entrance requirements for grampahood are comparatively mild, 
You only have to live until your child has a child. 
From that point on you start looking both ways over your shoulder, 
Because sometimes you feel thirty years younger and sometimes 
thirty years older. 
Now you begin to realize who it was that reached the height of 
It was whoever said that grandparents have all the fun and none of 
the responsibility. 
This is the most enticing spiderwebs of a tarradiddle ever spun, 
Because everybody would love to have a baby around who was no 
responsibility and lots of fun, 
But I can think of no one but a mooncalf or a gaby 
Who would trust their own child to raise a baby. 
So you have to personally superintend your grandchild from diapers 
to pants and from bottle to spoon, 
Because you know that your own child hasn't sense enough to come 
in out of a typhoon. 
You don't have to live forever to become a grampa, but if you do 
want to live forever, 
Don't try to be clever; 
If you wish to reach the end of the trail with an uncut throat, 
Don't go around saying Quote I don't mind being a grampa but I 
hate being married to a gramma Unquote.