O. Nash 

A Tribute to the Poet, Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

"... my field -- the minor idiocies of humanity" 

    On Health 
    The Germ 

    A mighty creature is the germ,
    Though smaller than a pachyderm.
    His customary dwelling place
    Is deep within the human race.
    His childish pride he often pleases
    By giving people strange diseases.
    Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
    You probably contain a germ. 

    No Doctor's Today, Thank You 

    They tell me that euphoria is the feeling of feeling wonderful,
    well, today I feel euphorian,
    Today I have the agility of a Greek god and the appetite of a
    Yes, today I may even go forth without my galoshes,
    Today I am a swashbuckler, would anybody like me to buckle
    any swashes?
    This is my euphorian day,
    I will ring welkins and before anybody answers I will run away.
    I will tame me a caribou
    And bedeck it with marabou.
    I will pen me my memoirs.
    Ah youth, youth! What euphorian days them was!
    I wasn't much of a hand for the boudoirs,
    I was generally to be found where the food was.
    Does anybody want any flotsam?
    I've gotsam.
    Does anybody want any jetsam?
    I can getsam.
    I can play chopsticks on the Wurlitzer,
    I can speak Portuguese like a Berlitzer.
    I can don or doff my shoes without tying or untying the laces because
    I am wearing moccasins,
    And I practically know the difference between serums and antitoccasins.
    Kind people, don't think me purse-proud, don't set me down as
    I'm just a little euphorious. 

Return to: Selected Poems by Ogden Nash